Aye, we planted the ShovelFlag in the warming Gloom, and The Faithful gathered:
Pascal
PBo
Uptown Fred
Kit
Davy
TangoDelta (LIFO)
Ann & Hope (FNG)
Moniteur (QIC)
Waco
Wichita Kid
SuperDave
Antonio Table
Fletch (FNG)
Pfafftown
Spoons
Bird
SweeperBoy
Lapin (FNG)
DarkWarrior (QIC)
The Cougar
Rock
TankMurdoch
Page
Page.2.0 (FNG)
OBT
Faulk (FNG) *this may be a placeholder nickname
Thang:
· The QIC’s provided their own Thang-descriptions for which TankMurdoch takes no responsibility—it’s a Cut/Paste thing Brothers.
· Pursuant to Qrusade/AG policy, we split into two groups when we have more than 20—no place to hide Brothers, no place to hide.
· QIC DarkWarrior: DW employed no Weinke, all of it coming from the gnarly basket of snakes between the ears. Here’s what he had the Faithful execute:
Side-straddle hop
Squat
One-leg squat
Vertical leap
People's chair
Robert Plant 3x
Backlot Mary:
Knee-up
Dolly
Flutter
Little baby crunch
Run to field, interrupted by a brief interlude of walking lunge.
Pusherama:
Knuckle Merkins
Widearm
Diamond
Rink-o-rama:
Crossovers
Suicides
Crossovers (backward)
Long strides / shuffle
Group I did some crunches and a short P-Bo led plank-o-rama while we waited for Moniteur to finish his ladder.
· QIC Moniteur: Like DW, Moniteur employed no Weinke. From TM’s perspective the Moniteur’s workout (although similar to DW) was somehow, more French.
Warm up:
Side Straddle Hop 100x
Merkins
Little baby crunches
Squats
Burpees
Runorama (?) with burpees (bear crawl in 2nd group due to time)
Run to Ramos's office - 5 minutes of Mary
Jacob's Ladder
Side Straddle Hop 100x
Merkins
Little baby crunches
Squats
Burpees
Runorama (?) with burpees (bear crawl in 2nd group due to time)
Run to Ramos's office - 5 minutes of Mary
Jacob's Ladder
NakedMan Moleskin:
1. FNGs:
a. Ann & Hope: Sponsored by TangoDelta and claiming to have been out drinking until 0430, Ann & Hope nonetheless brought the FNG heat. Inexplicably, he complained to TankMurdoch that the Jacob’s Ladder wasn’t hard enough (bold for an FNG), during the Jacob’s Ladder. Because he had just previously mouth-vomited, TankMurdoch did not immediately respond, which may have (at least in part) encouraged Ann & Hope to then say, “we need to do Burpees at the bottom too (the BOTTOM!)—this is a pussy way to do it, the way you guys do it.” TripleClaps and GoldenMcNuts award to Ann & Hope. Clearly a TangoDelta acolyte.
b. Fletch: His sponsorship is unknown. His current whereabouts is also unknown. PBo reported (breathlessly, in the wigged-out way PBo does sometimes) that Fletch put the FNG-SmokeBoots on in Group I, and may have been responsible (at least in part) for The Cougar’s sudden rising (see below), kind of the way Bernie Kosar got a then 52 year old Clay Matthews Sr. fired up enough to play 6 more years. Aye. TClaps for Fletch. No Beatles White Album for you Brother. You’ve got what you need already.
c. Lapin: Sponsored by OBT (and maybe by SweeperBoy as well—unclear Brothers, unclear). Had Lapin been in PBo’s group, there would have been a lot of mouth-breathing from the big Alpharettan, cuz Lapin lived up to his name. He pushed TangoDelta on the Jacob’s Ladder hard and TD owns that Brothers (and he only got to the QAG 5 seconds before we started it, so he was fresh as a Panhandle Daisy). TClaps to Lapin.
d. Page 2.0: Either this guy is still in high school or he is AWOL from the Marine Corps. How the heck do these young guys get out here anyway? Good Work little Brother. Tclaps to Page.2.0.
2. Kotters: SweeperBoy. Due to BigRed’s repeated absences from CNC every other Saturday (we take this on face value because we believe a deeper exploration would just embarrass everyone involved), every Sweeper appearance on the QAG is a Kotter. That’s not a complaint, just an observation Brother. All Brosius (me included Brother) have to shag a lot of Emotional Fungos back at the ranch. Aye. Welcome Back.
3. WarBaby: Page.2.0—15.
4. WarDaddy: Page—47.
5. LIFO: Yes, it was TangoDelta. His hair was perfect when he arrived at 0725 to SmokeBoot the Jacob’s Ladder. As it turns out--he was drunk.
6. Cougar Rising: During the Nameorama this AM Cougar gave notice of a step-up with a Senator Tressel-style name upgrade from simply Cougar to THE Cougar. This after a very strong showing on the Jacob’s Ladder. PBo, as he often does when startled, remarked afterwards, “he’s got an accountant’s head stuck in the body of an aging but still dangerous linebacker—he scared me so much that I sharted myself in Senator Ramos’ office”. Settle PBo, it’s true that The Cougar is an old-school snot-woggler (Heath Schuler lists him as 2d—right behind Clay Matthews Sr.—in hardest hits he took in his total football career), but let’s grab some perspective here.
7. Jacked Up His Only Jobs: Fresh from Davos, OBT was sporting a new beard (which is fine, fine Brothers), but he must have gotten snot-woggled down there. TM asked him when he pulled up where OBT.2.0 was and he looked in the empty backseat of the Prius and said “I’m not sure.” Then he just . . . walked away. What the heck Brother—it only costs a quarter to call DSS. Just warning . . . Then, TM asked him three times to get a hard count on the PAX. Every time, OBT says “yeah yeah Dredd I got it, I got it.” After everybody leaves, TM asks OBT for the hard count and gets this BS: “uhhh, oh yeah it’s twenty-something.” Dang OBT, you didn’t have to do anything today but account for OBT.2.0 and hard count the PAX, and you jacked up both jobs. You’re becoming like one of these Ivy League kids you’re always complaining about who are magna cum laude but can’t figure out how use the conference call feature on the B-Arch telephone system (no offense Warthog). No more vacations if this is what can expect when you come drifting back. Even PBo was alarmed (actually, that’s not saying much). Just saying . . .
8. FEBA Report: Not good Brothers. There was dead silence out there at times (at least in Group II—apparently in Group I there was a lot of gasping and sharting from PBo, which . . . I suppose, counts). It got so bad that Dredd finally asked SweeperBoy to hum a few bars of Kid Rock’s cover of Muskrat Love and got nothing but Emotional Crickets from a guy who is supposed to be a professional musician. Right next to him is Page, who just got done forcing the Visulite to dust of the Velvet Robe and he can’t do it either. Finally Dredd stars yelling “FEBA” hoping at least OBT would jump in, but he can’t even count to 27 and doesn’t have a clue where his son is (lost cause there Brothers). In fact, only Lapin would respond, but all he did (and he gets a pass as an FNG) was ask Dredd why he the heck he kept yelling “FUBAR”.
Goodnight Canada!
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