F3/Gamucci--6-22-11.Tomatoes and Thumbscrews

Aye, we planted the ShovelFlag in the drizzle and the Faithful gathered:

SixMike

Red Leg 6 (FNG/WarDaddy)

Tryon

MaxiDeuce

Kit

Rook

Neo (FNG)
Waco

Achtung Baby

Frankie Five Angels

SuperDave

Red Warrior

McDeuce

Giardi

Exeter

Antonio Table

Hitman

BlackBird

MMOB

Sweeper Boy

Senor Chips

Dredd

Mizer

THE Cougar

THE Rock

Zook (FNG)

McNugget

DST

Iron Mike (War Baby)

OBT (whoops, no wait he wasn’t there—not at all)

                The Thang:

Run to Harper Valley

Randorama

Run down Robert Plant (too wet) to Back Forty

Stinkorama

Run to Senator Ramos’ Office (Ola!)

Six Minutes of Mary

Run to Harper Valley

Plankorama

Run to Warrior Court

Pusherama

Run to Senator Ramos’ Office (Olay!)

Legorama

NakedMan Moleskin:

1.       FNGs:

a.       Neo:  Qrusade vet and disgusting thin-body—Aye!

b.      Red Leg 6:  The ranking member of F3 in both age and grade—Aye!

c.       Zook:  Brought to the dance by THE Rock, who nonetheless could tell the Faithful nothing about him except some vague mumblings about Danny Weurfell—Aye!

2.       WarDaddy:  Red Leg 6—51—Tclaps

3.       WarBaby:  IronMike—29—damn your eyes!!

4.       Epstein’s Mother:  THE WarDaddy, who hit the Fern in Wilmington DE (reason? . . .unknown)

5.       Kotter:  SweeperBoy—after a six-week absence in recovery from a nasty yeast infection, SweeperBoy returns and easily straps the SmokeBoots on.  Welcome Back . . .

6.       Today’s Chuck:  Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.

7.       Unexcused Absence:  OK, in this space we usually roast a guy who has been pretty steady and suddenly fails to post with no apparent excuse—happens quite a bit—McNulty is guilty of one of these himself (but only one).  A Level Two UA occurs when a man fails to post after a Hard Commit—happens once in a while.  A Level Three UA occurs when a man fails to post after a Hard Commit and it turns out that he was working out somewhere else (next to the Fern for example)—this is a rarity.  But, a Level Four UA, where a man fails to post after a Hard Commit to be the QIC the next AM.  While this transgression has been on the books for quite a while, there has never been an actual violation—until now.  This AM, OBT failed to post after volunteering . . . no, demanding actually, to be the QIC this AM.  Compounding and exacerbating the violation exponentially is the excuse.  OBT stayed home this AM because he claims to have been “very upset by last night’s extreme weather.”  C’mon Brother, that is just plain unacceptable. 

8.       Electronic Monitoring Bracelet May Be Necessary:   Last Friday the Faithful could not help but note the plethora (lotsa, that is) of Tomatoes in the Sun at Freedom.  Unfortunately, that is the last time anyone has seen Silence (other than a brief and unconfirmed sighting of a man answering his handsome description who was spotted circling the Booty Loop in a windowless white panel van driven by MaxiDeuce in the wee hours of Sunday morning).  He claims to be “working out on his own” next to a Fern in a unknown location, but McNulty has not successfully confirmed this.  Frankly, there is cause for concern.  Anyone with information regarding Silence, missing Tomatoes or the Thumbscrew that was stolen from SixMike’s Dad’s warehouse last weekend, please advise McNulty off-line.  Seriously, let’s get to the bottom of this Brothers.